Cording

I didn’t know what this was either a month ago.  Apparently it is caused from radiation damage to the lymph system in my left arm (where the radiation was.). The treatment is quite painful.  The lymph “cords” need to be freed from the fascia muscle tissue they are adhering to.  This involves 80 minutes sessions with a lymphoma physical therapist.  She lifts my skin and flesh with a special suction devise, and with a rounded metal tool, she digs into my arm, armpit, and pectoral muscle (and the corresponding one on my back), trying to separate them.  If you know how tough fascia tissue is, you know how hard she has to dig.  So I have black and blues from it…but not as bad as I expected.  But it hurts quite a bit nevertheless.  I have to go once a  week this month.  (She wanted twice a week, but it’s such a drive…).  So the fun isn’t quite over.

I did go for a really really long bicycle trip at home yesterday.  It was over 30 miles!  That’s the longest I have done, I think in quite a while.  Though I’m still suffering from depression.  I’m hoping that if I can get back to a “normal” life I will shake out of it.  I tell myself that it is just hormones…but that doesn’t make it any easier.  Also, so many friends figure it’s all behind me and want to forget it.  I am trying also, but it isn’t so easy to move on as I had hoped.  It would be nice to feel carefree joy again. I’m beginning to forget if that was real or just my imagination.  So I carry on with the best advice I got: one foot, then the other.  Any hints on getting joy: please share.

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