The second week of radiation began anew yesterday. The days afterwards feel sooooo long and exhausting, in a painful way tired should not be. I’m so very tired but I don’t want to sleep much or I will have trouble sleeping at night. It’s hard to fill up the days with useful work when I feel like this. It hurts to stay awake to even do knitting. This feels like it’s going to be a long haul to get through it. It’s also hard when you don’t have things to look forward to or you don’t feel useful.
I’m also worried that when this is all done I will too suddenly have my life mostly back but not know what to do with myself. The medical treatments have taken over my life for some 6 months now, almost completely. My life has not been my own. I am supposed to turn on a dime and resume my former activities?? It’s not so easy to do. And I have changed. The priorities in my life have changed.