11/2/17 Longer than expected…

I got the schedule for radiation today.  How to depress me further…  Now they say I won’t be finished until AFTER Christmas…at least Dec. 29th.  I start Nov. 16th.  Truly forget Christmas, or Thanksgiving this year.  AND I learned that radiation can make me lose my hair AGAIN!   (It just has started to grow back!)  I’ll be cold this winter.  I was hoping the hair would be back for the cold months.  It’s amazing how body hairs work so hard to keep your temperature regulated.  I really appreciate their normally invisible function more than ever now.

If there’s any clue anyone can give to help me be less depressed, please pass it on.  Dairy may be making my arthritis worse…so maybe I should forego the ice cream??   I have a friend who keeps talking about cancer (she had it years ago)  and how animal protein is cancer-causing, and how alternative therapies are worth checking into, and how dangerous radiation is.  (Thank you very much as I’m about to get “radiated”!)  PLEASE change the subject!  Thank you for getting me more worried and depressed!   I’m doing the best I can.  And I’m following the best medicine has to offer TODAY.  I know I need to be happy for every day that is good.  But I need to know WHAT I am working for, and WHY I am working.  I want to get back onto living.  Life is NOT to just be a cancer patient.  I’m losing my way a bit.

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