I was running the sheep up the driveway and realized I was a big hunched over still. After the surgery, I literally felt like a strap was pulling me chest down and inward. And, of course it was. The superglue they use for stitches held for many weeks before it rubbed off. And scar tissue is much tighter than normal flesh. At physical therapy I had to pull hard to stretch out the skin, the severed flesh and some muscle, and pull my shoulders back, lift my head up straight, and pick my arms up over my head (eventually). On parting from therapy, the PT said: to pull my shoulders back when I walk, and lean forward a bit as I walk. SO, as I was running up the hill with the sheep yesterday, I remembered to straighten up, pull back and get better posture. I also realized my weight distribution was markedly different. Without breast weight, my upper body feels so different. I notice a different center of balance! (And my doctor said breasts only weigh a pound or so! Ha!) And I realized I’m having to actually think about how to walk when I’m walking now. I think about my curled posture while I’m sitting too. It’s all quite interesting when you look at it in a detached sort of way.
I go up to Johns Hopkins on Weds. (since the first radiations starts early on Thursday.) I hope the weather will warm up enough for some bicycling. It helps me sleep better when I’ve had some good exercise. I also am so very cold with so little head hair and no body fuzz yet. (Maybe even the breast fat keeps one warm.) And I’ve lost at least 20 pounds now. I still am losing weight. I think it’s just because I’ve become used to eating less. But I feel good. For now. (Until they get a hold of me again… ) I have been tired the last few weeks. I hope I can rest a lot during the time I’m there for radiation treatments.
I saw the turkeys this week in their new home at Accokeek. I miss them. But it is so much easier here without having to care for them daily. I can’t help worrying about them tonight with the first cold snap. I always worried about them before…I still do. It’s tough on birds in the winter too.